IT work is serious business, but we all need an occasional break…
That’s why we have started this IT Jokes Blog. Stop by occasionally to see a new IT- related or “geeky” joke and have a quick laugh on us. Note that we claim no authorship, ownership, nor copyrights on these jokes; rather, we are just informally passing them along to you as we normally would do “at the watercooler”. By the way, if you have a great IT-related or geeky joke that you would like to see posted, please send it to sales@netcablesplus.com.
But first, have a quick laugh with this brief video that offers an unique answer to those puzzling network glitches that always seem to crop up in the data center:
JOKE ARCHIVE: 2024 | 2023 | 2022 | 2021 | 2020 | 2019 | 2018 | 2017 | 2016 | 2015 | 2014 | 2013
February 20, 2025
Network Manager to newly hired Junior Network Engineer: “The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not.”
February 20, 2025
Adam and Eve were the first people to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.
February 16, 2025
My Network Manager and I were on the phone and he was telling me that the major problem nowadays is information overload. His theory sounded reasonable, and I figured if I agreed with him enough then he would put me out of my misery by letting me get off the phone.
“I’m glad it makes sense to you,” Network Manager spoke at lightning pace. “I just emailed you the research that should solidify the idea in your head.”
I opened the email, and attached was a twelve page document in small print. Before I knew what was happening I heard myself say, “Are you kidding me? You just explained to me how ‘information overload’ is creating an apathetic world and now you want me to read all this? Send it to me when the Cliff Notes are available, OK?”
February 15, 2025
Did you hear about the network engineer who bought his girlfriend beads for an abacus for Valentine’s Day?
It’s the little things that count.
February 13, 2025
Follow your dream! Unless it’s the one where you’re at work in the Server Room in your underwear during a fire drill. Then don’t follow that dream.
February 9, 2025
A CIO tells his Network Manager: “My wife’s credit card got stolen last week.”
“That’s a shame,” says the Network Manager, “have you told the police?”
“No way,” replies the CIO, “the thief is spending less than she did.”
February 7, 2025
Network Manager: The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
February 5, 2025
One of my third-graders came to school crying.
“Jonathan’s upset because he couldn’t complete his math homework,” his mother explained.
“Why’s that?” I asked.
“Apparently,” she said, “our computer doesn’t have Roman numerals.”
February 3, 2025
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.
February 1, 2025
Our Network Manager, on a trip to an “AI in Networking” Symposium, boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it.
“This is the Jackport diamond,” she said. “It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it.”
“What’s the curse?” the Network Manager asked.
“Mr. Jackport.”
January 30, 2025
A Senior Product Manager for a major networking technology firm walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “Sorry, no drinks, but we’ll consider adding them later.”
January 29, 2025
Two network engineers met for dinner and were talking about past work in the Data Center, when one asked, “Say, why did the Network Manager fire you?”
Replied the second, “Well, you know how a Network Manager is always standing around and watching others do the work. My Network Manager got jealous. Data Center staff started thinking I was the Network Manager.”
January 26, 2025
A network engineer was on a beach when he discovered an old lamp in the sand. He rubbed it and a genie popped out.
The genie said, “I will grant you three wishes. The only condition is that you cannot wish for more wishes.”
“All right,” said the IT guy, “I wish for more genies.”
January 25, 2025
I always prayed before my trigonometry tests. I was hoping for a sine from above.
January 24, 2025
A year-long argument was finally settled a few days ago with a conference in the Mayor’s office. The situation involved a double-booking of the Town Hall, with a computer trade show and a Shakespeare appreciation society performance. After hearing demands from both parties, the Mayor and the town’s entertainment committee discussed the matter and decided to let the Shakespeare appreciation society use the hall for their performance.
It just goes to show that “actors speak louder than nerds!”
January 20, 2025
Network Manager: If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
January 19, 2025
In a small town in the Midwest, there was a big Data Center that hired only married men as network engineers.
Concerned about this, a local woman called the network manager and asked him: “Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous … or what?”
“Not at all, ma’am,” the network manager replied. “It is because our network engineers are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut, and don’t pout when I yell at them.”
January 18, 2025
What do you call a Star Wars droid that takes the long way around?
R2 detour.
January 14, 2025
A Network Engineer approached his Network Manager and asked for a raise.
“Well” began the head man, “business is bad now, Jack, and I just can’t afford to give you a raise.”
“But I’m doing the work of three network engineer’s and I always have…” retorted Jack.
“Three network engineers’ work?” exploded the Network Manager. “Tell me who the other two are, and I’ll fire them!”
January 12, 2025
I asked the IT guy, “How do you make a motherboard?” and he said, “I tell her about my job.”
January 11, 2025
Dear Data Center Employee:
Re: Vacation Pay
Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the past 100 year(s). As I’m sure you are aware, employees are granted 3 weeks of paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time off. One additional week is granted for every 5 years of service.
Please either take 9,400 days off work or, if you wish monetary compensation, notify our office and your next pay check will reflect payment of $8,277,432.22 which will include all pay and interest for the past 1,200 months.
Sincerely,
Automated Payroll Processing
January 9, 2025
What was a more useful invention than the first telephone?
The second telephone.
January 8, 2025
You Know You Are a Geek When
You look at a movie trailer and think, “I have that font.”
You get bittersweet nostalgic feelings about your long-lost Commodore 64 (or Sinclair ZX-81, TRS-80, etc.) and use large amounts of money and time trying to track one down.
You have more e-mail addresses than pairs of shoes.
Although vaguely insulted by pocket-protector jokes, you still find them funny.
Someone asks you what languages you know, and you reply: “Python, C, C++, React, Assembler, Javascript.”
January 6, 2025
A network software QA engineer walks into the bar, orders a beer, ten beers, 2.5 million beers, a dog, and leaves without paying.
January 1, 2025
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU’RE A NERD
I resolve… I resolve to… I resolve to, uh… I resolve to, uh, get my, er… I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning… 4:30 is much more practical.
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, “LOL… LOL!”
I will stop sending e-mail, Chat, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.
I resolve to work with neglected children… my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e-mail.
When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
I will stop using, “So, what’s your URL?” as a pickup line.
No more downloads from alt.binaries.*
I resolve to back up my new 4 TB hard drive daily… well, once a week… monthly, perhaps…
I will spend less than five hours a day on the Internet.
I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.
I will read the manual… just as soon as I can find it.